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October 18, 2009

MISERY

Your Unrandom Movie Club Results Are In!

Tagline: This Christmas there will be... Misery.

MoMo: That sledgehammer!

Pizza: Joe Peeps

Preshow: None

"ANNIE, WHATEVER YOU'RE THINKING
ABOUT DOING...
PLEASE DON'T DO IT."

There are some people that can walk into your house and notice you painted the living room a different color. Others can look at your bookshelf and discover that you've added a new book to your collection. And then there are those who know you have broken out of your locked room because their two-inch-high ceramic penguin is no longer facing due South. I'd watch out for people like that. People like Annie Wilkes.

Annie is a great villain, one of the best in film and literature. She's a creation of Stephen King, and in my opinion, she's scarier than The Three C's (Cujo, Christine, Carrie) all rolled into one. Why? Because while I don't believe in hell-bent St. Bernards, possessed cars and telekinesis, I do believe there are people in the world like Annie.

James Caan plays novelist Paul Sheldon. Superstitious Paul writes all of his books, including the fantastically successful (to his chagrin) Misery Chastain franchise, in the same room at the Silver Creek Lodge in Colorado (I wonder how Mapquest takes you there from The Overlook Hotel?). And now that he's finished another book, he continues his superstitious habits by having a celebratory Lucky Strike and a glass of Dom Perignon. Then he hops in his '65 Mustang and heads back to New York. But a blizzard's hazardous road conditions (I like that it wasn't a truck coming towards him or a deer) forces him off the road where he lands down an embankment upside down. And that's just how his world is going to be for a while - upside down. For there will be times, I'm sure, that Paul Sheldon wishes he would have died in that crash, instead of being rescued by, of all people, his Number One Fan, Annie Wilkes.

What's really cool is watching Paul's learning curve as he realizes Annie may not be the best person to nurse him back to health. When Annie shaves him with a straight razor, we cringe. I mean, she hasn't done a damn thing to threaten him, but we know more. We can see she's a bit off. Maybe it's the fact that she's too nice to him. Or that she has a picture of Liberace. Or that she eats Cheetos knock-offs and drinks Coke from a two-litre bottle while watching LOVE CONNECTION in bed. Or perhaps it's the way she crowbarred him out of the car and carried him on her back up the embankment in the blizzard.

One night, under a full moon, she reads the latest MISERY book, and let's just say she didn't like the ending. And if you are wondering Whatever Happened to Paul Sheldon, you won't for long, because now we have a cat and a mouse trapped in a house, and it's thrilling; from Annie's actions (that sledgehammer!) and odd word choices ("Paul! You're dripping with perspiration! Your color is very hectic."), to Paul's utter helplessness and his perfect escape plans that seem to always go south (like that freakin' penguin!). After one of these upsets, Paul and Annie toast "To Misery," but at that moment, it's no longer the book he's toasting to. It's actual, homespun, can't get any worse, misery.

Watching the movie again, I picked up on many, perhaps too many, lifts from PSYCHO. For one, she's a psycho. Then there's those Bernard Herrmann-like staccato strings and orchestra hits, and the house that no one seems to ever visit, with shots from the top of the staircase. And of course, the authority who is doggedly trying to get to the bottom of a person's disappearance only to discover there's a staircase with his name on it. And then there's that other staircase, tucked away under the main staircase. The one that leads to the basement. You know, the one where a secret is kept.

I think MISERY is one of those great examples where all the pieces fell into place nicely. From director Rob Reiner (on fire back then with SPINAL TAP, THE SURE THING, STAND BY ME, THE PRINCESS BRIDE and WHEN HARRY MET SALLY) to Stephen King's novel for staying true and taut to a solid story built on character, to William Goldman's fat-free, suspenseful and sometimes even funny script (apparently somebody in Hollywood knows something). But come on, we have to really throw a lot of it on the wonderful and perfect portrayal of Annie Wilkes by Kathy Bates (no relation to Norman...well, maybe a little). She can go from beamish to bilious with a single eyebrow. Every molecule on Bates is Annie Wilkes. Sure, it's a great role, but many would overplay it which would ruin everything as it's already a borderline cartoony character. Bates is remarkable and deserves every bit of praise she ever received for this role. And then some more.

But here's a dirty little secret about the movie. Because it's so much The Kathy Bates Show, people seem to lose sight of MISERY's secret weapon - James Caan. This man is also a great actor. We always know what he's thinking without him saying a word. It's all there on the face. But Caan's always been great. Just think back; HIDE IN PLAIN SIGHT, THE GAMBLER, THE KILLER ELITE, ROLLERBALL, THIEF, and I haven't even mentioned Santino Corleone yet. Okay, so he did sing to Barbra Streisand in FUNNY LADY, but still, I'm glad that Ford, DeNiro, Hackman (bad name for an actor, no?), Pacino and nearly every other A-lister passed on playing Paul Sheldon, because Caan's just perfect.

I'd also like to applaud Richard Farnsworth and Frances Sternhagen, who play Buster the police chief and his wife Virginia with a HONEYMOONERS dynamic. Love these two.

MISERY marks our third William Goldman movie (MARATHON MAN, BUTCH CASSIDY), and as far as I'm concerned, I hope we see more. Ever flip the channels and come upon a movie that you can't tear yourself away from and have to watch to the end every single time?

Annie (Kathy Bates) goes in for a swing of the sledgehammer

Even though you've seen it 150 times? That movie for me is ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN, and yes, it's a William Goldman script. Sure he's had some clunkers (THE GENERAL'S DAUGHTER? Huh?), but man, I even liked HEARTS IN ATLANTIS, a movie which its author, Stephen King (again), didn't even care for. And speaking of King, let's not skate by the source material (yes, illiterate me actually read a book). Besides the concept, King manages to hold you tight for hundreds of pages using just these two characters. And if you thought there were some wacky things going on onscreen, then you really need to read the novel. That sledgehammer? A toy compared to what Annie does to Paul in the book.

I saw a screening of MISERY in the theaters before it was released and the audience was buzzing, screaming and laughing (intentionally and nervously). It's really a two person play (it actually has been adapted for the stage), and like Annie herself, it really holds you captive.

So invite some friends over (it's really a great crowd movie) and hobble over to your TV. Okay Mr. Man?

Posted by Rich at 6:00 PM | Permalink |

July 18, 2009

HAPPY 10th ANNIVERSARY

It's hard to believe that this month, RMC is celebrating its 10th Anniversary!

It all began with a love for movies, pizza and randomness. On July 9th of 1999, the first Random Movie Club was held. A crowd of three sat and watched TOMORROW IS FOREVER, starring Orson Welles and Claudette Colbert.

And here we are, 10 years later. We've had people over 178 times. Now, I'm no mathematician, but I'm going to guess that's 178 pizza orders, too. We've been awed by great movies and made fun of bad ones.

For the 10th anniversary we watched the spectacle THE TEN COMMANDMENTS: THE MUSICAL, featuring Val Kilmer as Moses! Yes, it was awful and yes we had fun. Sadly, you'll have to wait for my scathing write-up, as I'm months behind. But like the show itself, it'll be worth the wait.

Dawn made mini-cupcakes that looked like popcorn (she even put them in popcorn containers!). Check them out!

RMC does mean so very much to me. So it is here I thank you for your support, whether you're a reader or a participant. Speaking of which, here are some people who have attended:

Alice
Andy
Annette
Bob
Brian
Charles
Cindy C.
Cindy K.
Cliff
Colman
Dan
Dani
David H.
David M.
Dawn A.
Dawn C.
Dean C.
Dean G.
Dennis
Elinore
Felicia
Gary
Ingrid
Jackson
James B.
James B. (a different one!)
Janet
Jessie
Joanna
Joe
John
Julie
Kira
Lisa
Mark
Max
Nikki
Paul
Penn
Pete A.
Pete M.
Peter G.
Peter S.
Rich
Rob
Robin
Sarah
Spencer B.
Spencer G.
Steve H.
Steve O.
Stephen
Steven
Tina
Todd
Tom
Tyler
Victor
Victoria
Yvette

(Here's a random goodbye for you.)

Racoon Spackle Win,

Rich

Posted by Rich at 5:00 PM | Permalink |

March 02, 2009

CITIZEN KANE

Your March 2009 RMC Results Are In!

Tagline: 365 days in the making - and every minute of it an exciting NEW thrill for you!

Preshow Entertainment: The Woman in the Room

MoMo: "Rosebud."

Pizza: Danielle's Wood Fire Pizza

CITIZEN KANE IS SO GOOD,
IT'S LIKE THE "CITIZEN KANE"
OF MOVIES

Crap! Two thousand movies randomize and it comes up CITIZEN KANE??? What are the odds of that? Well, 1999 to 1, but still...CITIZEN KANE?? What the hell am I supposed to write that hasn't already been written? This is a film that's studied in every film school in the universe...and perhaps in psych classes teaching about solipsistic narcissism. And who in their right mind would be reading this when you can read essays and books on the film? Hell, you can even watch a movie about the movie (RKO 281). So what am I to do? Well, isn't it obvious? I'll begin with a story about me and a vacuum cleaner.

When I was 25, I was working in the Barnes & Noble that used to be in Penn Station in NYC. At night, I'd vacuum the carpeting. That's right. I was vacuuming carpeting in a train station's bookstore at 25. By the time Orson Welles was my Vacuuming Age, he was directing his first movie - CITIZEN KANE. I'm not sure if that's a bad reflection on me as opposed to a good reflection on Welles. Okay, I am sure, but hey, at least I never acted with Pia Zadora in BUTTERFLY. You gotta give me that.

CITIZEN KANE is often hailed as the greatest movie ever made, so it's a bit hard to swallow that it flopped big time in the theaters. It didn't even make a profit. Much of the reason lies in its less than transparent parallel to contemporaneous newspaper tycoon William Randolf Hearst's life. Hearst, made of all things rich and powerful, forbade his many newspapers to review KANE, then went one step further with his directive to not even allow any ads for the movie. Yes, KANE was a pissing match between two very similar, powerful people, and like, say King Kong vs. Godzilla, they both took a beating for it. And who's to say which one came out victorious.

Eerie music (thanks, Bernard Herrmann) accompanies an opening sequence depicting the Pompeii-y remains of a man's life, all shot like a suspense thriller. And then...possibly the most famous one-word line in film history. "Rosebud."

Newspaper tycoon Kane is dead, and the film traces his life leading up to his mysterious last word through flashbacks, interviews and newsreels. Who really was Charles Foster Kane? It took his death to find that out, and even as the movie ends, we're the only ones given the clues.

The first 10% of the movie is shots of Xanadu (that's Kane's mansion, not the Olivia Newton-John/Gene Kelly spectacle) along with newsreels about the death of Kane. It's all exposition, and although we learn about Kane, the story has yet to begin. In fact, nearly 1/4 of the movie is over before we meet Welles as Kane. That's how - how did Pauline Kael say it? - that's how fuckin' cool this film is. I suppose you can say CITIZEN KANE was the first noir murder mystery, with Kane being the victim and the reporters the detectives.

But here's the best part. With CITIZEN KANE, Welles and Co. either broke, invented or reinvented the filmmaker.

Directed, produced, co-written and starring Orson Welles, KANE employed shots through neon signs and into skylights. Shots that have three things going on at one time, all connected. Brilliant shots like Kane, as a boy, shown through a window as his parents discuss his adoption in the foreground inside the house.

Welles was highly regarded in the New York theater world, and when RKO made him an offer no man could refuse (total control of the movie was pretty rare), he took those stagecraft tricks and utilized them on film. It's safe to say KANE has more trickery going on than most people will ever know. Composites. Mattes. Angles so low they had to make holes in the floor. Breakaway furniture so the camera can move...through tables!

Example of extreme backlighting to the extent that figures appear as silhouettes

Ceilings made of material (not wood) so they can put microphones above them (on a personal note, I am always excited to see ceilings in movies). People standing on unseen boxes to look taller. "Skylight" lighting that looks like an alien tractor beam. The list is as long as Welles' belt in his final years.

Sometimes Welles' innovations were accidental. When he started the movie he was lighting for the theater, not knowing that A) film is different, and B) this was the job of the DP. And dissolves? He would crossfade (lights down stage left, lights up stage right), again not knowing that was an optical effect rather than a practical one. But let's not quibble, especially since these effects are extremely, well, effective.

But few of these creative chicanery compare to the film's use of deep focus. Welles, along with cinematographer Greg Toland (okay, more Toland than Welles), developed special lenses so people in the background would be in focus at the same time the people in the foreground were. They also played around with perspective (check out the fireplace scene towards the very end). There's not a frame in the movie that isn't deliberate. This is one of the finest examples of premeditated creativity.

KANE begat many things still in use today. It also most likely inspired more directors than any other film. For example, the projection booth scene in KANE is not unlike what Woody Allen did decades later in STARDUST MEMORIES. But millions of things have been lifted (acknowledged or not) from KANE. I just used that one as an example because I just thought of it. So there.

Kane is reflected in multiple set of mirrors as Kane reflects upon himself near the end of his life.

Welles utilized many of his Mercury Theater players for KANE, and it's hard to believe none of them had ever made a movie before. Including Welles. That's right, CITIZEN KANE was Orson Welles' first film. Take that, Ron Howard's first directorial effort GRAND THEFT AUTO!! I love the fact that there was a theater group involved. Perhaps one day I'll start The Nathanson Players. I could only wish to get people like Welles had, especially the great Joseph Cotten.

CITIZEN KANE was edited by soon-to-be-famous-director Robert Wise (WEST SIDE STORY, THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL, THE SOUND OF MUSIC, etc.)

Herman Mankiewicz wrote the script with Welles, which once again became a Hearstian battle of "who wrote what" (we actually may never know, though most arrows point to Mankiewicz). But I can't heap enough praise on Mank, who wrote on some of the best Marx Brothers movies as well as being a major writer on THE WIZARD OF OZ (it was his idea to do Kansas in black & white). And KANE is but one of dozens (did you get that?...Dozens!) of movies he wrote or helped write, some lost in the crowd, others, like DINNER AT EIGHT, gems. So incredibly prolific, famous and talented was he that Mankiewicz actually had a "style" with words that became a popular trend in movies.

The movie ends just as it began except smoke is all that remains of Charles Foster Kane

This is one of the best examples of a movie that had thought behind it. This is how a movie should be made. This movie shows a love of movies. CITIZEN KANE is everything that makes up life itself; it winks at you, it's playful, it's smart, it's fun and funny and sad and tragic. So why waste money on film school? Rent CITIZEN KANE. Study CITIZEN KANE. Read about CITIZEN KANE. Get inspired by CITIZEN KANE. Then make the best movie you can. Because vacuuming the carpet in a bookstore in a train station? Not that inspiring.

PRESHOW ENTERTAINMENT:

Back in 1983, when Frank Darabont was 24, he directed a short based on a Stephen King short story (Take that, Welles!). King granted him permission for only $1, as part of his DOLLAR BABY deal. That's a business deal King sets up with aspiring filmmakers to grant permission to film a short based on one of his short stories in exchange for a buckeroo. How do I get in on this?

THE WOMAN IN THE ROOM is a slow-but-not-plodding somber story about a man whose mother is dying. When your mother, oxygen tube on her nose and barely able to move looks up at you and says "I'd give anything to be out of this...I want it over," what would you do? That's what John (Michael Cornelison) must wrestle with. Basically a two person one-act, WOMAN is really about humanity and how sometimes the hardest choice is the right one. But do we ever know for sure?

It's already clear Darabont had the tools to make movies like GREEN MILE and SHAWSHANK (both also from Stephen King's hard drive) involving people's will to live at whatever the cost.

THE WOMAN IN THE ROOM has never been released on DVD (I think). But even if you do get your hands on this 30 minute short, don't expect the feel-good movie of the year. Not quite powerful, but certainly effective. It was surely unfortunate timing that two RMCers in attendance had just lost someone very close to them.

Posted by Rich at 10:00 AM | Permalink |

February 18, 2009

IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT

Your February 2009 Random Movie Club Results Are In!

Tagline: Two great lovers of the screen in the grandest of romantic comedies !

MoMo: While hitching with Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert hikes her dress to show her leg.

Preshow Entertainment: FREAKAZOID!

WHAT DO BUGS BUNNY,
"SILENCE OF THE LAMBS"
AND UNDERSHIRT SALES
HAVE TO DO WITH
IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT?
READ ON...

First of all, it happened in four nights, not one. But bad arithmetic aside, IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT surely deserves to be hailed as the holy grail of screwball comedies.

IHON was made in Depression-era 1934, when America needed a laugh. It was a time when people smoked cigars, cigarettes and pipes...on buses. Ellen Andrews (Claudette Colbert), daughter of a gazillionaire, is engaged to marry aviator King Westley. Well, Dad would have none of this, so he traps Ellen on his yacht with nowhere to run. Ellen is so feisty even the servants cower as she walks by; but come on, it's a screwball comedy, the spoiled daughter is supposed to be sharp-tongued and stubborn. If only she would meet her match, like maybe a freshly fired, carping reporter whose "ego is absolutely colossal."

So Ellen jumps overboard and Dad has to send word that his "daughter has escaped again."

On a bus trying to get out of town (Daddy has people everywhere), Ellen meets Paul Warne (no relation to George Raft's Joe Warne in last month's RMC - NOCTURNE), a freshly fired, carping reporter whose ego is absolutely colossal, and it's hate at first sight. No, I really mean that. I don't think it was love pretending to be hate. I think they really hated each other at first. "Holy jumping catfish, you drive a guy crazy!"

And herein lies the true genius of director Frank Capra, who was able to make these two rascals so damn lovable. Peter calls Ellen an ungrateful brat, and he's right. "Ever hear of the word 'humility'?" he asks her. Maybe she hasn't, but she will before the movie is over. Before long, these two haters form a marriage of convenience (they actually conveniently pretend to be married in some scenes), for she wants a clean escape from Dad and he wants the story of the century...which will get his job back. And they'll do it all with a loquaciousness that enrages each other and makes us grin. Like when he watches her dunk her donut and quips, "All those millions and you don't know how to dunk."

Paul (Clark Gable) watches Ellen (Claudette Colbert) sleep

How much they like (or love) each other and won't admit it to themselves becomes more obvious to us as the picture unspools, it's simply not obvious to them. But we get to see the private moments, like the way he watches her sleep in the nearby bed and the way she holds onto his lapel as she sleeps on the bus. It's how he tells his newspaper editor he loves her before he tells her. And as their relationship loses its contentiousness and begins to warm, they become a team. Yet they still insist it's all for their own selfish reasons.

One of the many witty back-and-forths occurs as Peter hangs a sheet up (he calls it the Walls of Jericho) to separate their beds in a hotel room (auto-court, actually). Ellen, thinking it's to provide him with amusement, says to him, "I suppose that makes everything quite alright?"

Ellen (Colbert) eyes a shirtless Clark Gable

But it is Peter who takes her down with "Well I like privacy when I retire. Yes, I'm very delicate in that respect. Prying eyes annoy me." Another great scene has Peter testing the boundaries as he undresses in front of her until he's actually bare chested. By the way, a man not wearing an undershirt in those days was unheard of, and following the success of the movie, it's said that undershirt sales dipped way down. Hollywood folklore?

And then there's the famous hitch-hiking scene, when Peter is unable to hook a ride with his thumb. All it takes is Ellen to hitch and hike her skirt and show some leg for the first passing car to screech on his brakes. It's funny that Colbert didn't want to do this scene at first (she later retracted her request for a body double) because it became not just a highlight in the film but her most iconic film moment.

Along the way, Ellen finds herself in men's pajamas waiting on line for a community shower. So you see, IHON is a lot like TAMING OF THE SHREW. They both even have the same psychological wordplay. Yup - it's a Shrewball Comedy. Or maybe it's WHEN WISEASS MET BRATTY. Or THE SURE THING.

IHON moves swiftly from one golden moment to the next, be it a line of dialogue (one-third into the movie Ellen asks Peter, "By the way...what's your name?") to an entire scene (66 years before the ALMOST FAMOUS crew sang TINY DANCER on the bus, IHON's passengers joined together for THE MAN ON THE FLYING TRAPEZE) to the human side of life (Peter gives his last money to a malnourished boy and his faint mom who are on their way to New York for one last chance at Depression life).

This was the first movie to sweep all five major Academy Awards. We'd have to wait over 40 years for the next sweep (ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST) and nearly 60 years for the third (SILENCE OF THE LAMBS). It was the first, and only, Academy Award win for leads Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert, so it's funny to learn that neither star wanted anything to do with this film when they signed on. In fact, Colbert didn't even go to the Academy Awards ceremony. I suppose it wasn't the first time prospectors had gold in their hands and mistook it for pyrite.

IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT was based on a magazine story and brought to life by screenwriter/Fay Wray hubby Robert Riskin, who also teamed with Capra for LOST HORIZON. Do we even have to talk about Capra? Perhaps his body of work can do the talking: ARSENIC AND OLD LACE, MR. DEEDS GOES TO TOWN, MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON, MEET JOHN DOE and of course IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE. Say it with me..."Wow!"

IHON was remade as a musical in 1954, directed by Dick Powell and featuring Jim Backus AND Stubby Kaye (was Buddy Hackett out of town?).

For trivia lovers: It's said that Bugs Bunny's carrot chewing was taken from the way Clark Gable chewed carrots in IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT.

So I guess the lesson here is that even the brattiest and wiseassiest people are human. They just need to take off the damn masks. It took nearly the whole movie for Peter and Ellen to see past each other's masks and make the Walls of Jericho come down, but it only took me minutes to fall in love with this movie. And that's no faint praise, as I'm not a huge fan of screwball comedies.

PRESHOW ENTERTAINMENT: FREAKAZOID!

RMC Librarian Dawn loves FREAKAZOID! A lot. They didn't sell merch for this cartoon, so Dawn went and made her own FREAKAZOID! shirt. So now that FREAKAZOID! is finally on DVD, we decided to screen an episode for tonight's preshow.

FREAKAZOID! is a super hero. Okay, not really. He was a nerd who got sucked into his computer and came out looking like a super hero. So although he has some limited powers (instead of flying, he runs with his arms out in front of him and makes flying noises), he's not really that...smart. But he does have a way cool SPIDER-MANish theme song.

The episode we screened was written by the amazing Paul Dini and is called "Foamy the Freakadog." Yes, Freakazoid gets a sidekick, albeit not a very helpful one, and no "doggie talk" from Freakazoid seems to help. Instead, Foamy insists on beating the shit out of Freakazoid.

FREAKAZOID! was a Spielberg production and featured tons of great villains and guest voices. One of the regulars, Sgt. Cosgrove, was voiced by Ed Asner. Cosgrove actually looks like Asner, just like he did when he was Carl in the movie UP.

We have to watch more of these.

Posted by Rich at 8:00 PM | Permalink |

February 03, 2009

MARS ATTACKS!

Your February 2009 Unrandom Movie Club Results Are In!

Tagline: Nice planet. We'll take it!

Preshow Entertainment: Robert Schimmel: LIFE SINCE THEN

A: SHARK, HEART, SNEAK, MAC AND MARS
Q: NAME FIVE ATTACKS YOU CAN DO WITHOUT

Oh boy! At the beginning of MARS ATTACKS!, a little spaceship flies around the Warner Bros. logo! I loved that!

And only that, for MARS ATTACKS! is an exercise in overblown ideas and visuals that can exhaust people of Earth. Like the Martians in the movie, screening this film can make your brain explode.

With MARS ATTACKS!, Tim Burton has created a high-tech, low-brow homage to 50's sci-fi camp. But when you make a parody of camp, well, you're in danger of losing the camp, and when the smoke clears you're left with jokes that fall flat. Not that the movie MATINEE was a work of art, but it was more successful at 50's camp parody because it was a "small" film, not a big budget mess. And what makes a movie like MARS ATTACKS! doubly frustrating is the waste of its truly interstellar cast.

Glenn Close and Martin Short as the First Lady and Press Secretary

It's really not worth it to go into the plot, but you can most likely assemble the pieces yourself once you know the characters: Jack Nicholson plays the President (in another role he's a casino developer, and an uncredited third role has him as a voice-translator-machine operator), with Glenn Close and Natalie Portman as his wife and daughter. Pierce Brosnan plays a professor smitten with TV bimbo Sarah Jessica Parker. Martin Short is the salacious and shallow press secretary, Michael J. Fox a reporter, Danny DeVito a gambler, Annette Bening a new age nut (are there any other kinds?), the late Paul Winfield and the even later Rod Steiger are generals, and so on. Even Steve Valentine, who I've now spotted in not one but two bookstores in L.A., has a bit part. And everyone is performing using The Jack Black Method of Play-It-Big. And as if to prove the point, Jack Black himself is on board as a soldier (perhaps this is where he honed his mugging skills). This must have aggravated the Martians, who would likely have destroyed more scenery if the actors hadn't already chewed it all up.

So as the title implies, Mars attacks and humans (including us) must suffer the consequences. In the end, it's not a germ that ends this war of the worlds, but something more pop culture-y that conquers the Martians. No, not Santa. Let's just say Earth's chances for survival were slim.

Loaded with multi-storylines and celebs (it's like bad Irwin Allen meets SKIDOO), MARS ATTACKS! has the feel of 1941 (which Spielberg himself has apologized for), constantly trying to connect to the audience and rarely, possibly never, succeeding. There were too many long set-ups for meager payoffs (I could almost smell the "hold that shot a little longer so people can laugh" beats). There were set pieces that were just wrong and awful, like the President pleading with the Martian - "Can't we all just get along?" I hope they were going for parody because I can't bear to think they believed they were making a social comment. To make matters worse, about halfway through, MARS ATTACKS! simply becomes GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH, with aliens giggling as they pose like tourists in front of the Taj Mahal or knocking down the Easter Island statues with a huge bowling ball and then high-fiving each other. It's unfathomable that it took at least six screenwriters no fewer than two dozen drafts to come up with this stuff.

The movie is close to a total misfire though I did like a few things, like the Martian tapping the mic before he spoke, and the President and First Lady eating on snack trays while watching TV, but by the 30 minute mark you pretty much know it won't get any better than this.

MARS ATTACKS! is saturated with tired effects that actually grow more tiring by the minute. Personally, I found the walk that the unblinking alien does to be creepy, and not in a good way (that was Lisa Marie, Burton's squeeze at the time, looking like she just came from the LOVE SHACK video shoot). Also uncool creepy, Sarah Jessica Parker's head on a Taco Bell dog.

Amid all the loudness and visual assaults you'll find references to WAR OF THE WORLDS and EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS, among others. There's even a nod to a hub cap spaceship (Burton had just made ED WOOD). But the Martians themselves look like rejected SIMPSONS renderings of aliens Kang and Kodo. Blame...or inspiration, I suppose, partly goes to the original 1960's drawings on the trading cards on which this film is based. Maybe that's why chewing gum, a trading card staple, is what helps the Martians breathe. Oh, and when the aliens spoke, they sounded like the Aflac duck (MARS AFLACS?).

One thing's for certain, I am not a huge fan of Burton (Hey! That rhymed!). I want to be, but I'm not. PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE was indeed a great bow, and the only Burton movie I really love. I did like ED WOOD and CORPSE BRIDE, and BEETLE JUICE is okay but overrated (Michael Keaton's performance is what made that movie work as well as it did). But NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS, which I watched again recently, doesn't hold up, and I can't bring myself to watch his BATMAN movies again. Once was enough. Now I'm not trying to be high and mighty here. Many people love Burton. Maybe more than love Billy Wilder. I get that. This is a subjective thing. Except for PLANET OF THE APES, which I believe everyone hated across the board. I could forgive my ex-writing partner Robbie Jayson for stealing all my money and hiding out in Wisconsin before I could ever forgive Burton for APES.

I really wanted to see MARS ATTACKS!...and to enjoy it. But I didn't (did you pick up on that at all?). Mars didn't attack so much as numb.

So who ended up saving us all? Jack Nicholson? Nope. Jack Black? Nuh uh. Natalie Portman? I wish. Nope. It was Robert Schimmel who saved the evening.

PRESHOW ENTERTAINMENT:

Comedian Robert Schimmel killed us. We watched his January 2009 HBO stand-up show LIFE SINCE THEN, where he talked about his new wife and kids (life since then has found Schimmel divorced and facing domestic violence charges, later dropped). Other killer bits included his trip to Hawaii, swimming with dolphins, Siegfried and Roy, his 17 year old daughter, his ex-wife, and his son using a robot arm.

The last hunk was about his battle with cancer, which he faced with all the comedy he could. He turned his tragedy into comedy, for his own benefit and for ours. Good for him. Good for us. Schimmel rocks.

Posted by Rich at 5:00 PM | Permalink |

January 18, 2009

BADLANDS

Your January 2009 Unrandom Movie Club Results Are In!

Tagline: He was 25 years old. He combed his hair like James Dean. She was 15. She took music lessons and could twirl a baton. For a while they lived together in a tree house. In 1959, she watched while he killed a lot of people.

Preshow Entertainment: MAKING THE MONKEES

"NEXT TIME, RENT BADLANDS."
-MARTIN SHEEN, 1988

In 1988, Martin Sheen took an apartment in my building in NYC while performing at The Public. I'd see him now and again, but I wasn't prepared for my encounter with him. Nope.

I had just returned from the video store with a bag of tapes. I was yapping with Jerry the Doorman when Sheen walked past me and made his way to the elevators. I wanted to say something, but didn't want to do the "I'm a big fan" thing. So I held my bag of videotapes up and said, "Hey! I just rented one of your movies!" He walked into the elevator and turned to face me, smiling. "Really? Which one?" Now would be a great time to tell you that I did not have a Martin Sheen movie in the bag. I was just trying to break the ice. Anyway, I didn't want to say APOCALYPSE NOW. I mean, come on. So I thought like a cat - I'll pick something obscure, that no one would ever say to him. And in that split second of brilliance, I blurted out: THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!

For those of you unaware, THE FINAL COUNTDOWN is a sci-fi thriller about an aircraft carrier that goes back in time. Sure, it's no THE PHILADELPHIA EXPERIMENT (where the ship goes into the future), but I'm pretty sure it's a crappy "paycheck" movie nonetheless.

Sheen's smile dropped from his face. He paused, then said, "Next time rent BADLANDS." And the elevator door closed.

So I got right on it and watched BADLANDS. Twenty-one years later. I still have yet to see THE FINAL COUNTDOWN.

BADLANDS was Terrance Malick's first movie. He made it in 1973, and since then he has made a whopping three more movies. That's an average of one movie a decade. I guess someone has to offset Woody. So I've seen half of Malick's movies. That would be BADLANDS and DAYS OF HEAVEN, both of which I liked.

Being a huge fan of True Crime stories, I was somewhat familiar with the story of killing spree-er Charlie Starkweather and his teen girlfriend Caril Fugate, on which BADLANDS is lightly based (so was NATURAL BORN KILLERS, among others).

Martin Sheen, chiseled and cool, plays Kit Carruthers, a garbageman (only in America can a movie garbageman become a TV president) and rebel without any cause whatsoever. When he gets fired, no big deal, he'll work as a cattle feeder. And when his girl Holly's dad won't let her see him anymore, no big deal, he'll shoot him and leave him to bake in the house he burned down.

Kit meets Holly (the never-let-you-down Sissy Spacek), a Sign Painter's Daughter, early on. She's a sassy yet simple thing of 15 years. Why, she hardly reacts (a slap to the face?) when Kit kills her dad.

Kit and Holly flee, making their home in a forest treehouse with their own ADT alarm system (a spike ball on a rope that can knock out a buffalo). But soon these two will have to leave, for as Mickey and Mallory would tell you, you can't just stay in one place when you're wanted by the law. So they head for the badlands, along the way stopping at a friend's house and then a rich man's house where for a trophy Kit steals...a trophy. But that's the thing, you just never know what Kit will do or who he will kill...and who he'll spare. And neither does he, and that is why the suspense works so well. He's going on instinct, just like the animals in the woods they lived in.

It's a bit of a buy that Holly leaves with Kit, but she's a sheltered eaglet not yet attuned to the world. So when she says in V.O., "And it was better to spend a week with someone who loved me for what I was, than years of loneliness," the buy goes away.

Actually, this whole movie, though its focus is on Kit killing people who are in his way, is actually about Holly learning about life from books and experiences (watch the way she sits on the rich guy's chairs for the first time). It's a girl's awakening played out in lush scenery and harsh realities. She is growing while Kit remains stagnant, which is illustrated in a scene where she's reading a Hollywood gossip magazine. She tells Kit, "Pat Boone says as long as things are going well with his career, education will have to take a back seat." And while Kit's response is "I don't blame him," it is Holly who continues to educate herself. That puts a wedge between them. Just look at her face when she watches a train whiz by, a train she undoubtedly wants to be on. Kit, on the other hand, stands over the badlands, gun on his shoulders and arms slung over it, like a scarecrow at home in his field.

Not a glossy, glorified story by any stretch, BADLANDS is brimming with things that tell you about these people. It's in their actions, sure, but it's also in their faces (the price of admission for me is Spacek's face when she won't go with Kit...actors take note!). In fact, BADLANDS could be a silent film and work nearly as well, save for Spacek's haunting, natural narration, which really makes this movie soar. More than just moving the story along, it's an inner monologue. She's telling us things she'd never tell Kit, which gives us information that can make us actually feel not just for her but for Kit as well. It rounds it all out. It's like reading her diary. Malick also leaned heavily on a female narrator in his next film, DAYS OF HEAVEN. I remember seeing it opening day, and the audience being totally wowed by actress Linda Manz' V.O.

Though he'd guest starred on nearly every prime time network show and had done a few features, BADLANDS is the thing that got Sheen some notice. Strapping in his tight white t-shirt, he commands the movie as much as he commands the interest of Holly. (FYI - Sheen was 33 playing 25 and Spacek was 24 playing 15.)

BADLANDS possesses, for me, one of the greatest first lines in any movie. While on their garbage route, Kit and his partner see a dog. Kit dares his partner, "I'll give you a dollar if you eat that Collie." Once I heard that, something inside me told me this was going to be a good movie. There was a flavor to this movie. You could taste Texas in the first half (when Kit shows up at her door, Holly looks at him and says, "Well stop the world." That's a line I'll be using now.).

Another personal highlight was a scene where Kit uses a record making machine called a Voice-O-Graph (sure sounds like a Ralph Kramden idea). It's a vending machine/booth where you put in fifty cents and make a record. I want one.

And now a word about how beautiful BADLANDS looks. Credited with three photographers (one being Tak Fujimoto...his first movie), things like Holly's burning house become a watchable event rather than a CGI cartoon, made up of stark images like the piano burning, or the dollhouse burning, or the roasted chicken burning, or dad burning (though we are spared that visual). And the landscapes are often breathtaking.

So those are my thoughts on BADLANDS. Now if I can only get that damned Springsteen song out of my head. No, not BADLANDS. I'm talking about NEBRASKA, a song Bruce wrote, inspired by the movie BADLANDS.

PRESHOW ENTERTAINMENT:

We yapped a lot, plus the pizza arrived quickly, so we didn't get to watch a whole lot of MAKING THE MONKEES, a TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY-ish bio with teeth, where the announcer spoke as if he's telling us of the end of the world: "(The Monkees were)...a machine that would ultimately crash and burn."

But one gem we did catch about the band who, in 1967, sold more records than The Beatles and Elvis combined, was from rock impresario Don Kirshner, who was hired to provide hit songs for the group: "...they were full of themselves...and they figured they had talent, which they didn't really have." Perhaps he is bitter. And perhaps he was right. Me, I got a thrill out of watching Monkees songwriter Bobby Hart (his partner Tommy Hart passed away in '94) talk about how they wrote the theme song.

Posted by Rich at 2:00 PM | Permalink |

January 01, 2009

NOCTURNE

Your January 2009 Random Movie Club Results Are In!

Tagline: None

Preshow Entertainment: None

NOIR ENTRY NOCTURNE LEAVES TOO MANY QUESTIONS UNANSWERED. I SUPPOSE YOU CAN CALL THEM NOCTURNE OMISSIONS.

I taped this movie off of A&E back in 1988. We knew it was A&E because during the commercials (including George Plimpton for Architectural Digest and Telly Savalas for Player's Club!) the announcer said, "This is the Arts and Entertainment Cable Network." There was also a commercial for CBS Video Library that began, "Got a VCR and a taste for high adventure?" I do! As long as I don't have to leave the house. Anyway...

AERIAL SHOT of a house high atop the Hollywood Hills, overlooking Los Angeles. PUSH IN through the window. A songwriter is at the piano, composing a tune while he talks to a girl in a chair. Only her legs are visible. The rest of her body is in shadows. He does all the talking. He tells her he is through with her. He dedicates the song to her. A song he calls... NOCTURNE. But it will remain unfinished.

This is how 1946's NOCTURNE begins. It's a good start, but the rest of the movie, though spotted with good moments, doesn't hold up.

Whoever killed Keith Vincent made it look like suicide. And they'd have gotten away with it too, if not for the persistence of Detective Joe Warne (George Raft), who won't let it go. He's not convinced it was a suicide, so much so he has trouble sleeping.

There's a row of pictures on the wall at Vincent's house. All women named Dolores (they're not, that's just what womanizing cad Vincent called them all...for reasons never explained). So if this was a murder, was it committed by the houseboy, who conveniently was on an errand when the murder occurred? Or was it one of the rejected "Doloreses" hanging on the wall? Or....

The housekeeper Susan Flanders, a smart-mouthed ("He was a ladykiller, but don't get any ideas. I ain't no lady.") dame who did time for a jewel robbery at another house she was working at. Or the smart-mouthed ("This may be a crummy joint, but a nickel don't buy more than a cup of coffee.") waitress in a Greek diner? Or the smart-mouthed ("Hey, are you a copper?") roomie of Nora, yet another "Dolores."

Because of Joe's ways (he does stuff like breaking a player piano or pushing a lug into a pool) he gets called on the carpet by his boss who takes him off the case. I mean, it's a suicide with no evidence of foul play. But for some unknown reason, Joe doesn't want to give up. True WE saw a murder, but Joe didn't. Yet somehow he has that 1940's tough guy bug up his hard-boiled ass. Even though he's seen nine Doloreses and each one has an alibi.

And that's when he meets a smart-mouthed ("I think your needle's stuck.") broad named Frances Ransom ("Woo Woo Girl" Lynn Bari), an actress whose alibi seems well rehearsed. But Joe likes her, so the murderer can't be Frances, can it?

His search, with Frances in tow, takes him to The Keyboard Club, where he meets Frances' kid sister Carol (Virginia Huston), a smart-mouthed little number who sings to the piano stylings of Ned Fingers. Fingers just happened to have written some songs with the late Vincent.

NOCTURNE is an okay movie highlighted by numerous Los Angeles locations like the Pantages Theater, a 24 hour bowling alley right on Sunset Boulevard, The Frolic Room, a place called Holly Vine School of Beauty and the Brown Derby. They also utilized their own studio, RKO Radio Pictures, as we see Frances on a job as an extra. (When Joe shows up she tells him, "Why don't you hop on your scooter, sonny boy. I have to emote." See? Smart-mouthed.)

O.S. (Original Scarface) George Raft plays Joe Warne so one-note it actually made me laugh. When he and Frances kiss, she does all the work. It's like she's kissing a George Raft wax figure.

NOCTURNE was written by pulp novelist turned screenwriter Jonathan Latimer, who also wrote THE BIG CLOCK (remade 40 years later as NO WAY OUT) and the great COLUMBO episode THE GREENHOUSE JUNGLE. Joan Harrison produced NOCTURNE. She not only wrote some Hitchcock films and produced his TV show, but among many of her trailblazing endeavors (she was a woman producer, which was pretty huge back then) was producing one of my favorite thriller anthology series - JOURNEY TO THE UNKNOWN.

The cast is filled with contract players whose combined credits probably equal infinity. But two stand out for me: Ned Fingers was played by Joesph Pevney, who ended up directing dozens of TV shows like THE MUNSTERS and the original STAR TREK. And the photographer was played by John Banner, who 20 years and maybe a hundred pounds later became Sgt. Schultz on HOGAN'S HEROES.

NOCTURNE is sort of a sloppy attempt. We never get to follow along with the mystery because, well, the mystery feels forced. It's as if they put a bunch (too many, I'd say) of elements in a bowl and mixed them up. But there are other mysteries surrounding NOCTURNE. For instance, why does Joe even suspect foul play? Why do the housekeeper and houseboy still work at a dead man's house? Why doesn't Joe care at all when he is kicked off the force? How does he locate all the girls in the pictures? And most importantly, why does a guy in his 40s live with his mother?

Posted by Rich at 8:00 PM | Permalink |