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RETURN OF JAFAR

YOUR JANUARY 2004 RMC RESULTS ARE IN!

The Preshow Entertainment was: Assorted Stand-Up comics from the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. This was during the Stand-Up flood, when every station had what was accurately called "brick wall" performers. Well, it was a show (you may remember it, it was called STAND-UP STAND-UP) that showed clips of stand-ups, grouped together by a theme. The one we saw was CARS. So there were a bunch of comics doing 1-3 minutes on cars. It's sort of unfair to extract a few moments from a routine. The clip may not work as well, and also may damage the routine itself. That said, most of the jokes fell flat, and most of the comics weren't very, what's the word I'm looking for...oh yeah- funny. I wonder where they are now? Maybe our resident comic can help us here. Here's some of their names: Rick Corso, Jeff Rothpan, Pat Hazell, Scott Bloom, Steve Trilling, Judy Toll, Frank Santorelli, Don Ware, Rondell Sheridan, Mitchell Walters, Dan Rosen, and Jon Manfrellotti.

The pizza arrived during Wayne Cotter's bit, and we didn't get to see Gary Stevens, Richard Carter and Tim Allen (I heard of him!). The show was hosted by Walli Collins who made free money because he did nothing. We also saw a Doritos ad with Chevy Chase, who RMCer Steven pointed out said nothing in the entire spot. And a Miller Lite Ice ad with upcomers Angie Harmon and Sam Rockwell.

The movie was the straight-to-video sequel of Aladdin, THE RETURN OF JAFAR. Now, we all know sequels are inferior to the original. But did they have to remove the heart, as well? Dan "Homer Simpson" Castellaneta did a fine job pretending to be Robin Williams, but it didn't matter, because he wasn't Robin Williams. So his mania just seemed forced. The story? Who knows. All I can figure out is that they were trying to have dinner for half the movie (half the movie is 32 minutes, by the way). Oh, and Gilbert Gottfried is back, and guess what? He's the lead! He sang two or three songs, had most of the screen time, and had the only character that went through a change. It occurred to me that the two stars, Gilbert Gottfried and Jason Alexander, are the two people notorious for doing any project that falls in front of them. Maybe if they both stopped squinting, they could see what they are getting into.

It was a bad movie. I don't know how else to say it. Terrible score, awful songs, frantic, and convoluted (especially for a kid's movie). Five people wrote the story, and eight people wrote the script, so that explains it. And imagine, they made a third one, ALADDIN AND THE KING OF THIEVES. If I had three wishes, one of them would be for Disney to stop making bad sequels just to make money.


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