Random Movie Club

Your June 2005 RMC LITE results are in!

Burning down the horse!

"What the???!!!!!" --Dennis Hopper

Tonight's movie was CARRIED AWAY, and I'm 'fraid that's just what we got with our little remarks and asides. I only have this movie for two reasons: Amy Locane's tits.

It's a terrible movie about a man, injured (comically) in a black and white flashback (he falls backwards off a tractor, out of frame!), and who is tormented by:

1- He's not a farmer because he is lame

2- He can't commit to the woman he loves

3- His mother is dying

4- They are closing the small school he's taught at his whole life

5- The new school is 60 miles away, and they won't let him teach there

6- Amy Locane's tits.

Dennis Hopper plays Joseph. He's the most un-Hopper anyone can be, almost like Jack Nicholson playing a mime. It appears he took the wrong drugs this time, as he's almost sedated. He has no reaction to anything, even when a horse is on fire (yeah, you read that right). And he looks like Scorsese if you plucked Marty's brows off.

Catherine (Locane) joins Joseph's class, looking like a hot bucket of Lolita. In little time they are fucking ("I think we should make love now") in his hayloft (Catherine: What do you keep up here? Joseph: Oh, just some hay...). Then, she shows her tits.

Later, Amy Locane shows her tits again, riding completely naked and bareback on her horse, which is kept in Joesph's barn. And later later, when Amy Locane is not on screen (but surely showing her tits), Dennis shows us his 60 year old Hopper, and Gary Busey shows us his amazing teeth. So there's something for everyone.

Meanwhile, Joseph is second guessing his relationship with Rosealee (Amy Irving, who also co-produced and does full frontal as well). Meanwhile meanwhile, Joseph's mother (Julie Harris) is dying while wearing a bonnet. And she knows what's going on with Joseph and Catherine. In fact, almost everyone but Rosealee knows. Even the family doctor Hal Holbrook, who I suppose had no presidents to portray that month, knows. In fact in fact, the best moment (for us) in the film comes when Joseph and Catherine are sleeping in the barn, naked as jaybirds, and Holbrook enters (why is he walking into the barn anyway?). Holbrook sees them and says, "What are you doing in here with her?," Joseph looks over and pretends he was just sleeping naked in the hay alone, and is unaware of 17 year old Amy Locane and her tits laying on him, and shouts out in faux shock, "What the???!!!!"

CARRIED AWAY was directed by Amy Irving's partner of 15 years, Bruno Baretto. His biggest movie to date was the critically trashed A VIEW FROM THE TOP (which by comparison is THE GODFATHER to CARRIED AWAY).

Nothing much happens in this movie, until Amy Locane and her tits set fire to Joseph's barn. I guess she didn't realize her horse would light up like a Pinto (car, that is). So at least we got to see a horse on fire.

The movie is slow. Halfway through, we nearly opted for a documentary on molasses. But if a movie throws you lemons, you throw them right back. And that we did. Wouldn't want to bore you with our (what we pass off as) witticisms, but we certainly laughed a lot.

Tags: random movie club, carried away, dennis hopper, amy locane

Posted by Rich at 8:00 PM | Permalink |

Your June 2005 RMC Results Are in!

The Preshow Entertainment was: Carol Leifer, John Cougar, and Adam and the Ants.

Carol Leifer- Stand Up sure has changed throughout the years. And these three segments culled from early 1980s Letterman appearances prove it. Segues, content, and rhythms; all different.

I loved Carol Leifer's work. Watching it back, it was still funny, but not as much of a scream as I remember (of course, I have changed as well). But it's a great little time capsule. I still enjoy how likable she was when doing her bit. Lots of laughing at her own material, but just to punch the joke, not for any sort of ego. In Segment 1, she wore a sort of sailor suit (it was the early '80s). They also put a Chyron of her name over her while she was paneling, something Letterman hasn't done in 20 years. Leifer went on to write on SNL, SEINFELD (She dated Jerry, and Elaine's character was modeled after her), and LARRY SANDERS. And yes, she still does Stand Up.

Next up, John Cougar (he hadn't used his last name Mellencamp yet) right before he broke, with a good song and cheap video called AIN'T EVEN DONE WITH THE NIGHT. In it, you can spot Eric Rosser, who played piano in the band. Or, more recently, you could watch AMERICA'S MOST WANTED and see him in cuffs, arrested for child pornography and molestation.

The Preshow Entertainment wrapped up with Adam and the Ants on Tomorrow (Tom Snyder). They played ANTMUSIC. Then Adam (nee Stuart Goddard) sat with Tom and had to answer such questions as, "I read about you, didn't you start off as a punker?" and "Why the pirate costume?" They finished with LOS RANCHEROS.

It was time to start the random movie. I have never seen a Richard Burton/Elizabeth Taylor movie before. I know this because I've only seen one Burton film (THE EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC, which was the first film I ever worked on), and two Taylor films (THE MIRROR CRACK'D and THE FLINTSTONES!). The movie is Franco Zeffirelli's THE TAMING OF THE SHREW.

Although I heard this was a play, I already knew the story from seeing 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU. Okay, that's me trying to be funny. The truth is, I knew the story from KISS ME KATE.

In this version, Burton and Taylor not only chew the scenery, they break it into pieces. Prithee, for nary a scene playeth lest some knave toss and breaketh objects that reach well within a poor man's arm. And all this made noise. If only THX had been around in 1967.

I can only guess that there was plenty missing from this version, as the arc of Katharina's taming came pretty fast. There are a few people on this list that must know more, if they're willing to chimeth in.

It was one of the most vocal RMCs, as people spat their hit or miss quips at the screen. In spite of this (surely, I too was a stone caster), I still managed to enjoy this movie.

Also, halfway though, Stephen upped and left. And as per the RMC rules, no one said goodbye to him. It turns out that parting is not such sweet sorrow
after all.

Tags: random movie club, taming of the shrew, elizabeth taylor, carol leifer, john cougar, adam and the ants

Posted by Rich at 8:00 PM | Permalink