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The Preshow Entertainment was:

-Amazing Stories
-Annie Golden on Letterman in '86
-Elvis Costello on The Tonight Show in '84

I believe "Mirror, Mirror" was the first episode of AMAZING STORIES to air. There was much excitement, as we learned Spielberg wrote the story and Scorsese directed the TV piece. But what shit. A piece of crap directed late '60s NIGHT GALLERY-style, and failing miserably on every level. ESPECIALLY...it had no end. There was NO ENDING. It just....ended....with no payoff. (I suppose for those of you who saw it, the payoff was that the demon was real because the Deborah Raffin-y actress saw him as the demon. Still.....wha???). I also (am guessing here) think that there were things they were trying to do, mirror-wise...as in, take a look in the mirror and tell me if you like what you see, and other parables that don't come across. Major disappointment. Major major major. The only good thing it had was Glenn Scarpelli, who stole the show (and, of course, was never paid off in the story).

Letterman was (and is) simply stunning. Here we are, 20 years later, and the show looked great. It didn't feel 20 years old at all. Annie Golden (who you may remember as the pregnant hippie in HAIR) sang a song she had on the 16 CANDLES EP. Then, she paneled with Dave, putting her cute ditz persona on 10. Letterman tried to goad her into telling him that Don Johnson and Phillip Michael Thomas were pains in the ass on MIAMI VICE.

Carson was off, and Joan Rivers was subbing (remember they did that? If only someone would sub for Conan every night). In typical Elvis fashion, while promoting GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD, he plays a song not on the album. In fact, an album not yet recorded (BLOOD & CHOCOLATE). It's a tamed down version of "I Hope You're Happy Now". He panels with Joan, who talks about teenagers liking Elvis (?), then does a solo version (from the correct album) of "Peace In Our Time" (with some changed words).

It all made for some really fun time capsule snippets.

And now... MARY POPPINS (must be said in fake cockney accent).

I don't remember seeing the movie when I was a kid. I know I saw it, I just don't remember seeing it. I had the record, and I knew each song. I also remembered things about it. But one of the things I didn't remember was that it was TWO HOURS AND TWENTY MINUTES LONG. When it came up on the computer, I thought, okay, this will be okay. A Disney film - what is that, an hour and twenty minutes? I didn't even THINK to use the 220 Rule. Although...it wouldn't have applied anyway. The rule is any movie over 2:20 can be vetoed. OVER. This movie WAS 2:20, and therefore, exempt from the rule.

What a lumbering elephant of a movie. Actually, I think there were singing lumbering elephants in the movie. There was no real story, which is okay. Points of view just shifted and it seemed the movie meandered down any path it felt like. They jump into a chalk sidewalk painting and come out 25 minutes later. They ride carousel ponies and wind up in a derby. Then they visit Ed Wynn and float to the ceiling and laugh. Mary gives them "medicine," and they fall asleep. Mary Poppins? I'm thinking Mary Jane. Or Mary "let me poppins these pills in your mouth." REEFER MADNESS didn't have such overt images. I guess a lot of kid's stories are drug-related.

We had a gay sing-along for SUPERCALIFAGILISTIC... No matter what you think of MP, you still know the songs. Steven, our Disneyphile In Residence, was there to annotate. He said the movie was big big big. We didn't get it. I tried to buy the "those were different times" argument, but it seemed wrong. I wonder if kids today love this movie.

What this movie really needed was Glenn Scarpelli. But it didn't have him, so it simply beat the shit out of us. Nine people pacing around the living room, hoping that it would end. It was breaking us. Another five minutes and I was ready to give up government secrets. And here's the weird part. How do I say this? It's a good worst movie. Underneath, somewhere, there is an innocence and haphazardness that's charming. I don't think I'd give it the 4 stars Lenny Maltin gave it, but I wouldn't rate it BOMB either. What I will say is, like drugs- don't do it. Unless, of course, you really love to.

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