SHERLOCK HOLMES & THE PEARL OF DEATH
I had a lot of stuff lined up for the Preshow Entertainment, but we only had time for the first two things.
First up, the Carsey Werner (recently disbanded company) sitcom CHICKEN SOUP, from 1989. This was Jackie Mason's failed attempt at lead sitcom star. Like any soup, it appears producers and execs got together and said, Let's put all the ingredients of sitcoms into a huge pot and we'll have the best tasting soup ever. But they were wrong for doing so. They got the most Jewish comedian, whose girlfriend (Lynn Redgrave) is English, and her brother is Irish. There are some kids of hers, I'm guessing from a previous marriage; Kathryn Erbe and Alisan Porter. Erbe is now on LAW & ORDER (though I discovered her cute-osity in RICH IN LOVE, with Albert Finney). And unless I got the mathematics wrong, she was playing 14, but was really 23. And Porter, who most recently co-starred in the live musical version of THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (a/k/a "Thou Shalt Not Kilmer"), had her career jumpstarted and jumptheshark in one move as CURLY SUE ("She'll steal your heart!").
I think this was the pilot. Jackie and Lynn are invited over to her brother's for dinner. (Her brother has a son played by Breckin Meyer, but he's not even listed on IMDB as being on the show!) No hi jinks ensue. Just bad jokes, sappy situations, and Mason's animatronic soliloquies. That old adage was wrong; chicken soup COULD hurt.
Next up, an SNL skit from 1979 called THE INCREDIBLE MAN; A low-rent, Canadian version of THE WIZARD OF OZ. I admire this parody for three reasons:
1- The performances. Jane Curtain remarkable as "the good witch", Harry Shearer with perfect "Wizard" cadences, Gilda Radner as Dorothy (Jennifer here), Bill Murray as The Mountie who needs a wife, Elliot Gould as the bear that needs sleep, and an unidentifiable actor (I'll give you 5 bucks if you can name him- this isn't a test, I just want to know who he is) as a hockey player, and Laraine Newman as the other witch.
2- The parody of the OZ score. Pre-taped and on the mark, with theme variations that are pitch perfect.
3- It was live TV. There was a lot going on here, yet they nearly made it through to the end without a hitch (until some crew member accidentally walks in front of the camera).
And just when you think, What will they do next?, Garrett Morris comes on playing one of those flying monkeys. Another "let's give Garrett a demeaning role?" Maybe. But funny? Oh yeah. He committed to this part 100%, and provided a burst of laughter not found on TV too often. His costume was dead on (even the ears!). And his flying monkey posture, along with the body movements and head bobbing. One of the biggest laughs I ever had, when I first saw it.
And as always, it was great fun watching commercials from the '80s.
The movie selected was THE PEARL OF DEATH. This Basil Rathbone/Nigel Bruce Sherlock Holmes movie came somewhere in the middle of the series.
It centers around a Borgia pearl that gets stolen from a museum. It's actually Holmes' fault, as bad guy Giles Conover (Miles Mander, the 40s answer to Steve Buscemi) overhears Holmes pointing out the museum's vulnerabilities. A good villain (but no Moriarty), Conover also has a henchman called The Creeper, probably because he creeps and is creepy. He also breaks people's backs at the third lumbar. People remember this film because of The Creeper (more on him later). But the other thing of note here, and I repeat, is that the crime was committed because of Sherlock Holmes!
But Holmes and Watson track the crime, which involves 6 busts of Napoleon, a large book with a spring-loaded dagger, and the usual rivalry between Holmes and Lestrade.
RMCer David informed us that The Creeper (who would later be The Creeper in other films) was actor Rondo Hatton, a high school football hero who enlisted in WWI, got poison gassed, and became deformed (bones not growing in proportion, particularly in the face). This worsened throughout the years, and he went from reporter to exploited actor.
The 14 Rathbone/Bruce Sherlock Holmes movies are more than 75 minute mysteries. Like The Thin Man series, they're character-driven. Characters. It's what made us cheer for Cheers. It's what made Mary Tyler more. It made Being There be there. It's the heart of any great writing. And Arthur Conan Doyle and Co. had that heart in the whip-smart deductions of Holmes, played as perfect as the pearl itself by Rathbone. And the lovable yet flawed (how did he become a doctor anyway?) cluelessness (what a perfect partner) of Dr. Watson. The one-upmanship of Scotland Yard's Inspector Lestrade. Even the very brief appearance of Baker Street's Mrs. Hudson adds character.
Being that the film was only an hour and fifteen, we stuck around to watch AEROBICIZE. Oh my. This gem from the '80s, always touted as "A Ron Harris Video," was not really an exercise program to participate in, but one to watch. Three girls in skintight Danskins bending and panting into the camera, which DePalmas around them. This was during the '80s fitness craze. There were some smartly demo-ed ads for gyms, Danskins and thin pads. There was also an ad from a doctor who had really great high '80s hair.
Harris also had tapes called EROTIC AEROBICS which were borderline softcore. The Danskins were tighter with ass cheeks hanging out, the cleavage was more exposed, the girls were more mascara-ed, and they looked right at you with that "I want you" look.
Well, another fun evening. I sure hope we get more from the Sherlock Holmes series. Because missing in THE PEARL OF DEATH was an "Elementary, my dear Watson," and the wink to Holmes' drug use, "Watson! The needle!" Now THERE is a catch phrase! Take that, "I'm Rick James, bitch!"
