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You know, when you only interview someone's friends, you're gonna get a wonderful picture. So, we end up feeling sorry for her, instead of hearing some good dirt. But it's Mariah, and you could still read between the lines and figure out the dirt. But man, do we really need to hear what her (current) hairdresser has to say? Seemed more like a spinned PR story than a usual E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY. Maybe their parent company has too good of a relationship with her to cause damage. That's why we get dirt for Ratt.

The first movie of 2002 was THE GODFATHER II. But we exercised the 220 Rule (if it's over 2:20, we can vote to pass on it). So, we did. And it was "Vito-ed".

The next pick was OPERATION CONDOR. When the title lit the computer screen, I giggled uncontrollably. I got confused and thought it was the movie CONDORMAN.

In the early '80s, when VHS and BETA were equal, I rented a beta machine and taped a few movies that were not available on VHS. CONDORMAN was one. So here, I thought we were set to watch a live action Disney movie, that probably no one has ever heard of, about a cartoonist who becomes his super hero. I checked IMDB and discovered that besides Oliver Reed and Barbara Carrera (who we all LOVED in "Embryo"), the film stars James Hampton (Dobbs from "F-Troop", although he has done a ton of other things too...still working!), and, as Condorman, Michael Crawford...that Phantom guy.

However, it wasn't CONDORMAN, it was OPERATION CONDOR, starring Jackie Chan. Well, I have maybe five Jackie movies and we saw one (RUMBLE IN THE BRONX) a few months ago. So we got another. I haven't seen this one before. Jackie, as stated in the last Jackie write up, is totally amazing and, how do you kids say it? Awesome.

Story? Who knows. Who cares. All I know is it had something to do with Nazi gold (hi, SAVAGE BEACH) and an underground Nazi RAIDERS thing going on...with some major wind tunnel. But again. WHO CARES! All I care about is that Jackie ran, landed with his feet on either side of a dropped gun, picked the gun up with said feet and threw it in the air, then tumbled off the back of a bad guy, caught the gun, and aimed it at the other bad guy. Jackie is like Penn & Teller. He shows you how the trick is done, and you still can't figure it out.

These (earlier) movies are a lot like porn. You don't need a story. That just gets in the way and clutters the fun.

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